The other morning during a walk with my dog, I ran across a baby turtle attempting to cross the street in front of my house. It was the cutest little thing, filled with energy and vigor. He was all alone, no family members in sight as he slowly crawled along the road. It didn’t look very promising. He was so small, I figured a car could drive by and hit him, given his tiny size.

I thought I’d help him out by bringing him to my yard where I have a creek in the back. I figured my daughter who was coming over in a few hours would love to see him so I planned on keeping him in a container until she came over. I brought him in the back, after putting the dog in the house. I let him crawl around as I admired his cute little shell of a body.

All of a sudden, the door swings open and my dog, Bailey,  (Retriever/Shepherd mix) runs toward me and the turtle. I try to block the little guy while yelling at my dog to back away. In a split second, the turtle panics and runs away from me – right towards the dog. The dog sees this as a moving treat and – you guessed it – she eats the turtle. I’m yelling at her, pleading with her to open her mouth and let him go, only for her to clench her jaws even tighter, refusing to release the poor little guy. I was devastated.

Here I’m trying to help this creature by moving him to a “safer” spot, only to see him get eaten by my dog. I felt like a complete idiot. I continued to try and pry Bailey’s mouth open to no avail. Finally, I ran for the bag of dog treats and offered her one. It worked perfectly. Bailey immediately opened her mouth for a treat and dropped the turtle. He was lifeless. It appeared Bailey clenched too hard, even though she didn’t break the shell.

I carefully laid the little guy out near a puddle of water, hoping he would come back to life. I sat there for 20 minutes and waited. There was nothing. Then it starts to rain, adding to my misery. I turn my thinking to what I should do with a dead turtle, feeling like a guilty fool for interfering with this poor little guy’s life. I looked back at what just happened and realized he would have had a better chance of survival if I would have just left him alone in the first place. I couldn’t blame the dog, she did it out of natural instinct. It was me who was to blame.

All of a sudden, his 4 tiny legs and his head pop out of his shell and he slowly starts to crawl. He’s alive – and well! He showed no signs of physical trauma. I was overjoyed and ecstatic. I was so thankful he survived. I wasn’t going to keep him to show my daughter. I knew he belonged right where he came from. I immediately picked him up and walked back across the street to where I found him. There’s a lake towards the back and I figured that was probably where he originally came from. I profusely aplogized to the little guy before gently releasing him. I knew my helping had turned into interfering.

Moral of the story: Find out why you really want to help. While I still believe I needed to move the baby turtle from the street out of harms way, I wasn’t helping him by bringing him home. That was for my own gain. I wanted to show my daughter and I wanted him in my yard.

When we look at the big picture with this, we see how in helping others, it may not really be out of a selfless act to help. Many times, it’s more from a selfish point to feel needed, worthwhile, important, etc. While it feels good to help someone, you need to ask. “Am I truly helping them?” or “Am I interfering with their own growth?” We all have lessons to learn that include struggling with challenges. When we interfere with those challenges, we prohibit the person from learning and growing.

While I totally advocate for people helping others, boundaries need to be drawn regarding that help. Asking whether you are helping or hindering a person’s growth is the first step. If you overstep your boundaries, you become an enabler, fostering a dependence on yourself that isn’t helpful for either party.

Renee Kennedy-Edwards, MS – Coach for Coaching 4 Success, Inc.

www.leadmetosucceed.com

Let’s see, it’s Friday afternoon and we are headed into the weekend. I’ve got 2 hours left at the office, have I achieved everything I was supposed to do on my To-Do List today? Oh no, I still have 5 things on my list – gotta get it done so I can enjoy my weekend. Does this sound familiar to anyone out there?

My guess is that it sounds all too familiar. I’m seeing (and experiencing myself) a common theme among people. We are all too focused on the tasks at hand – the “doing”, versus being focused and attuned to “simply being.”  When we focus on the latter, we appreciate the present moment. We take in the sounds of summer, the beautiful beauty around us, and the wonderful people we encounter. We appreciate being here in the Now and we enjoy the art of whatever we are experiencing in the moment. It may be simply driving, or maybe its more task oriented like moving the lawn or washing the dishes. The point is, we can focus on “being” even when we are “doing” something. It all depends on your reasoning behind it.

Take the example of washing dishes. Do you wash them in a hurry – for the goal of getting it done so you can move onto your next task at hand? Or maybe you wash the dishes while you are doing something else, like talking on the phone or helping the kids with their school work, so you can accomplish more tasks in the given time. Either way, this type of doing is a great analogy for how many of us live our lives. We do all these tasks – so that we move onto the next, hoping that eventually we get to a final goal, perhaps, but not always. True – we need tasks to accomplish goals. However, we shouldn’t allow this way of moving forward to replace the way we live.

America is notorious for this way of living. We are always on the run, always trying to do more, be more, etc. Believe me, I’m all for striving to be better. Yet, there needs to be a balance in this, just like with everything in life. Too much of this way of living is – no way to live. This is what we call the “rat race” in which people are so caught up in doing, doing, doing – that we forget how to just be.

I’ve got a great exercise for you to try out to show you how to focus on the present moment. The next time you wash your hands, do the following: Tune out all outside distractions (the tv, the kids, the phone, your thoughts in your head, etc.) and turn on the water to a comfortable warm temperature. Feel the warmth as you wet your hands – smell the sweet scent of the soap as you lather it up, paying attention to the sensation of the bubbles caressing your skin. Take in the comfort of cleaning your hands and think of it as a symbolic way of de-stressing from the day, allowing yourself to be totally engaged in the present moment. Allow your mind to go blank and just take the moment in with your senses. Now, this may only last a  minute or two – and that’s totally okay. Even spending a few minutes in the present time while focusing on the art of being is enough to give you a mental break from the stressors around you.

This exercise is taken from the Buddhist culture and it teaches us to slow down and appreciate the present moment. Instead of rushing through tasks, especially routine ones like washing your hands, try experiencing it in a different way by focusing on the present moment instead of focusing on what you will do next.

We can take this a step further by also blocking time out each day to “be” – if only for a short time. Some people meditate during this period, but you don’t have to. You can simply sit outside and experience the sounds, sights and smells around you. Try implementing this and similar exercises throughout the day to break up the routine of doing. You will feel more relaxed and feel more like a person, when you take time out to simply be.

-Renee Kennedy-Edwards, MS President – Executive Coach

www.LeadMeToSucceed.com

We all have to deal with them at one time or another – the bullies we run into who want to argue a point, pick a fight, or just want to be downright nasty. While we can’t necessarily get rid of them, we can have the upper hand by not getting sucked into their negativity.

Think about it. People who are mean have their own agenda. They don’t care about yours, they are more focused on their needs at the time. So what is a person to do? Hit with an uppercut? Not necessarily. Getting “down to their level” only eggs them on and promotes aggression. It also motivates them because they know they are getting to you.

The most powerful play of all is to not react in the first place. By keeping your cool and staying objective, you truly have the upper hand. Giving time for the bully to cool off before you talk with them can be beneficial when dealing with truly aggressive people. Write out what you want to say before you talk with them. Practice it out loud so you are comfortable with it. When the time is right, get into the ring and state your case. Stand up for yourself and don’t allow the bully to trample you down. When you assert yourself (with the appropriate assertive techniques), you say what’s on your mind without having to pull out the punches. You come out the winner because you are stronger than anyone who has to bully others to get their way.

Learn how to assert yourself at Coaching 4 Success, Inc. Email for more information: info@LeadMeToSucceed.com

Go get ‘em!

Renee Kennedy-Edwards, MS

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6 Ways to Successfully Adjust to Change
by Renee Kennedy-Edwards, MS

Face it. Change is inevitable – and yet, it seems to be human nature to fight it.  We do love our comfort zones! We are less stressed, less frustrated and feel more stable when we know what to expect within our environment. The problem is, comfort zones are only temporary.

A friend of mine died recently and with that I witnessed change in its most coldest form. It throws you out of whack, totally dismantles your routine and leads you to a shocking and numbing place within. Everything seems to stop in the moment.

And yet, somehow you get through it all. You move through the waves of grief and sorrow and learn how to navigate through the adjustment. During this experience, I learned what works and what doesn’t when dealing with major changes. I’ve come up with 6 key components to follow in adjusting to any change you might (and will) encounter.

1.  Allow Yourself to Feel the Feelings. Change in careers, a relationship, or in your environment can lead you to feeling things you might never have felt before. Some people feel irritable and on edge, while others feel excited to an obsessive degree. The point is, we need to feel what’s going on within us, in order to deal with it effectively. The biggest mistake people make with change is trying to push the feeling away.

2.  Be Flexible. When you are in the midst of change, it’s important to allow yourself some “wiggle room.” You may not be as organized or as structured as you usually are when you have additional things on your mind. Understand that your thinking may not be up to par, and give yourself extra time to accomplish tasks.

3. Keep to Your Routine. Once the initial shock has settled in, it’s important to try and stay within your routine of living. Get up at a reasonable time each morning, get dressed, and make a list of things to do to keep yourself focused and on track. By following a routine, you are able to add normalcy to your life, even if the circumstances don’t feel quite normal to you.

4. Take Baby Steps. Any change can seem overwhelming and daunting. If you just focus on the hour in front of you or the day ahead of you, it takes some of the anxiety and fear away. It allows you to stay in the present moment without jumping too far ahead of yourself. This is a technique used in Alcoholics Anonymous and other organizations that support people in change. Just focusing on one day at a time makes it easier to deal with and will produce less anxiety and stress.

5.  Nurture Yourself and Accept Help. You are ultimately responsible for yourself, nobody else has that role except you. It’s up to you to take extra special care when dealing with major changes. Allowing more time to rest and relax is beneficial in helping your mind and body deal with change. Eating healthy and exercising, even just 15 minutes daily, can help you feel better as you move through the adjustment period. If someone is nice enough to offer to help, accept it. By allowing others to assist, you are lessening your burden and helping yourself move forward.

6.  Be With Others. While there is a benefit to being by yourself to grapple with the change, too much solitary time is unhealthy and can lead to depression. Spending time with others helps you focus on other things besides yourself and also gives you the support and connection of people who care about you. Studies show people with strong support networks move through major changes faster than those without them.

Change is actually a good thing, even when we experience loss. It is a natural part of life and it is the moving force to motivate us to grow, achieve, and appreciate those around us. By following these guidelines, you are moving proactively with the change, rather than being dragged by it.

Have you ever considered how closed-minded we can be when it comes to change, learning something new, or looking outside the box for alternative solutions? I’ve recently witnessed some of this and it boggles my mind how commonplace it is – especially among older adults. I can remember being in my twenties and not really thinking too much into anything when making decisions. I realize now, that can be good and bad, depending on the decisions. Yet, there was something beneficial about being naive, ignorant, and/or immature enough to not realize all the possible negative consequences to a decision. I guess I just didn’t look that far ahead into anything. That “dumb luck” helped me make some major changes in my life that put me on the right path to success. I made a major move, out of state, at the age of 20 to start a new life. My only prerequisite? I wanted to live in a bigger town on Lake Michigan. I literally looked at a map, saw a town with big letters on the lake – and moved. I look back and laugh at the carefree attitude – and the lack of planning I had. But guess what? It worked – kind of. I moved to Michigan and stayed there 2 years – and then knew I needed to move again. Each move, I improved my surroundings and grew from the experience.

Would I do that again? Heck no. I’m too mature, responsible and logical to do that now. What happened? I guess the older you get, the more risk you have in making major moves out of the blue, without a plan. But, you also get more comfortable in your current surroundings, slowly resisting change and opportunities, as you grow older. It’s sad, really. I see people in their 60’s and 70’s who refuse to get near a computer. They say its because they “don’t need it” and “don’t want to get addicted to it” but what they are really saying is they fear the heck out of it. They fear looking stupid, being stupid, hurting the computer, and essentially they fear learning something new.

I witness this myself in learning more about social media and redesigning my website. I think its going to be really difficult – in learning the new programs, and once I’m in it – I realize how silly I am to think like that. This is the kind of stuff that prevents us from moving forward, getting better, living easier and learning more. Can you imagine if we all acted like the 70 year old man who refused to get near a computer? Where would our world be at this point in time? We would be very much behind, at the very least. Thank God we have the Movers and Shakers out there who are willing to risk and motivate us to move forward.

I suggested my residential community post information on the website instead of keeping it in their office where people can only access the info M-F 9-5 (impossible for working people.) Do you know what the manager said to me, “I don’t think we can do that.” Why? I ask. He replies, “It’s never been done that way before.” So there you have it. A perfect example of what happens when we close our minds and stay in our comfort zones. It’s just not healthy, is it?

I think we need to be a little less conservative when it comes to making decisions and looking at negative consequences. However, I do believe in planning ahead (unlike my mind at the age of 20) and looking at your risk factor while realizing the only way to progress is to take a chance, dive in and expand your horizons.

-Renee Kennedy-Edwards, MS
Executive & Personal Coach

Bob,

The training of the sales force that you provided has been a great asset to me as a Sales Manager. Many of the salespeople that went through the two week training course ended up being our top people in sales and gross profit and it didn’t take long for them to get there. They also were easier for me to work with, as they were not lot droppers and knew the desk would help them sell the car. With your training it gave me the time to concentrate on managing sales and focus on closing deals without the fear of having unqualified people talking to our customers. I would not hesitate to recommend you and your training company to anyone wanting a professional staff that will make them more money.

Ron Ziemba
New Car Sales Manager

When I first started in the business I had no clue about selling cars. However, with your training program everything was easily laid out and explained. Then all I had to do is follow the simple steps that you taught and have a good attitude and before long I was on the road to success. I made over $85,000 in my first year and after that I was promoted into Sales Management, thanks to the training that I received from your program.

Carlos Perez
Used Car Sales Manager

I have had the pleasure of knowing Bob Kennedy-Edwards for the last two years. He was in charge of my sales training course when I joined Naples Nissan. I had worked previously in sales so the training was sort of a review for me, but it was well worth it. B.K.E. was efficient and thorough in teaching me and the rest of the group the sales process and product. During the training program and the two years I worked under him in sales I can honestly say that he was always very organized, extremely competent and overall has an excellent rapport with people of all ages. He was always quick on his feet, with sensible reactions in all circumstances I’ve seen him in. I feel confident in saying he is capable of handling any situation with thoughtfulness and maturity. In summary I highly recommend B.K.E. and his training program to anyone that wants to succeed in sales.

Juan Fraga
Sales Consultant

First I have to thank-you for your time and dedication in helping me become a successful sales person, especially because I knew nothing about the car business before I started your training program. It has been almost two years since I started in the business and I still practice step by step the “road to the sale” that you taught me and it starts with a big smile from me and ends with a satisfied smile from my customers when they take delivery of their new vehicle. The training took me from an inexperienced person to one of the most successful sales people in the dealership and in the process I have made more money than I thought possible. Thanks to your experience and shared knowledge I am happier than ever and enjoying my career doing what I do best…. Selling cars!

Miguel Prieto
Sales Consultant

I have worked in a number of fields in my life but never in sales. I went through a training program by Bob Kennedy-Edwards at the dealership he was running and was very impressed with the thorough education I received about the sales process. I was hired for an assistant finance manager position and was told that I would first go through a two week sales training course to help me understand the business better. After I completed the training my life changed 360 and I was on the path to success. I am now the most profitable finance manager in our dealership and am living the life I always wanted. I would strongly recommend his sales training program to anyone looking for a career in sales. I am so thankful that I met him.

Favio Rodas
Finance Manager

I felt that you should know that I’m truly grateful for being able to have had you as my instructor in my sales training class at Naples Nissan! My first thought at the beginning of your classes was that I would simply learn your product and sell it, but I found out that it was a lot more than taking orders and sending customers on their way hoping they bought the car! The sales process from the meet and greet to the final delivery I found to be totally different than I assumed it was. But with your expertise in the road to the sale, it has been beneficial to me. The first month on the floor, after your two week course, I was New Car Salesman of Month, High gross, Most total profit, Most Cars sold! Also not to mention Employee of the Month!

If I had a choice of continuous sales training classes from Grant Cardone or training by Bob Kennedy-Edwards, I would choose BKE!!

You’re a true professional in the highest regards, you have the gift to make a dealership succeed by training the average salesperson to the next level in his or her career!

I’m looking forward to buying your cd’s in the future, because I know you have more information to share about selling..

Thanks again Bob,

Marty
Marty Ingesoulian
Sales Professional at Naples Nissan

Please note: Only customers who have personally experienced “Over the Top” service may submit. Only businesses in Bonita Springs, Fl are eligible. This is not a contest. Submissions are for the sole purpose of giving examples of quality customer service in our area. All submissions will be reviewed for accuracy. Publishing of any submissions is at the sole discretion of The News-Press.

The New Year brings a renewed sense of hope and purpose to people’s lives which is a very good thing. The problem arises when people create resolutions and goals based on the fact that they have a whole year to complete it.

It can be too big of a picture in keeping track of your goal. It’s easy to say, “I’m going to exercise three days a week for 2010″ but it’s a lot harder to achieve because it is so broad of a goal. The key to staying on track with your goals is so take small steps in working towards them.

I refer to these as taking, “baby steps.” If you approach your goal in small increments, it feels much more attainable than looking at the whole year thinking you have to follow a certain routine. It is the same idea used for quitting smoking or drinking. If you take it one day at a time, you have a better chance of sticking to your goal.

While taking leaps may get you there faster, taking baby steps will give you more long-term success.

Happy New Year!

Renee Kennedy-Edwards, MS
President / Executive Coach
COACHING 4 SUCCESS, INC.

As I sit here staring at my pc screen wondering why this software is taking so long to download, I realize I need to just take it easy. We are accustomed to getting immediate results these days. Think about it. We have fast food drive-thru’s, bank drive-thru’s, drycleaning and grocery drive -thru’s. We have speed dating, express car washes and express toll lanes. We are spoiled with faster speeds on the computer and internet that continue to improve at lightning pace every year.

So, it is only fitting that we should expect everything to move just as quickly. Our goals in becoming famous, rich, happy, healthy, fit, and in love are expected to happen quickly – since we all have limited time here. It’s no wonder we, in our society, have become more and more frustrated and irritable waiting for all of these great things to come to fruition.

People become depressed because they can’t seem to make it. They work hard for a short amount of time expecting to “hit the jackpot” and then quickly fade out when they see it isn’t “working”.

How many of you out there have given up too quickly on something simply because you grew too impatient? Perhaps we can all take a deep breath and realize there is something to be said about “the journey” in getting to our destination. Often, we learn valuable things and meet interesting and beneficial people along the way – important steps to achieving our goal that will not happen if we give up too soon.

Remember to give yourself some time to achieve your goals. It will eventually happen if we just stay on the course and not get so discouraged along the way that we give up too soon. There will be bumps along the way – that’s inevitable. The point is to move passed the bumps and stay persistent and above all, patient.

After writing this blog, I can tell you my download still isn’t done yet, but that’s okay. It gives me more time to think, relax and enjoy the present time.